Many visitors from abroad have heard of the widows of Vrindavan before they have heard of Banke Bihari. Articles and films have carried their story across the world, and searches in German and other languages for this subject are common. When you arrive, you may see elderly women in plain white saris in the lanes and at the temples, and you may wonder how to behave.
This note is written with care. These are people, with names, faiths and histories, and not a sight. It tells you what we can say, where we are unsure, and how to be a guest.
Who this is for
It is for visitors who wish to understand and help, and for those who only want to do no harm. It is for people who may meet widows in a temple lane or a bhajan hall, or who plan to visit a charity. It is not for those who wish to photograph poverty.
If you are travelling with children, speak to them beforehand about respect, privacy and kindness.
What to know before you fly
Vrindavan has long been a place where women who have lost their husbands come to live out their years in devotion. Press and charity reports describe many of them as elderly, poor and far from their birthplaces, with some coming from Bengal and other regions. One source estimates around 15,000 widows in Vrindavan; this is a published estimate, not an official count, and numbers vary.
The reasons they come are many and personal: faith, loss, family circumstances, and in some cases abandonment. We cannot speak for any of them. Reports differ on the details, and we would rather say so than guess. If you wish to read more, look for recent, careful reporting and the websites of the organisations named below.
On the ground: etiquette, food, money
Greet with folded hands and the words Radhe Radhe, as everyone does. Speak softly and slowly. Do not touch anyone without permission, and do not give money directly to a person unless she makes clear she would like it; ask a trusted local, or give through an organisation. Do not bring packaged food to hand out in the street, and do not distribute gifts in front of a crowd.
Dress modestly. Do not stare. If a woman speaks to you, listen. If she asks for help, think carefully about whether you can offer it in a lasting way, and tell her honestly what you can and cannot do.
Respect: ask before photos
Do not photograph widows without asking, and accept a no at once. Do not photograph them while they eat, pray, sing or sleep. Do not post pictures of identifiable women online without their consent. Many visitors have been moved by what they saw, and wanted to show it, and in doing so have taken from the women the one thing they have left, their privacy.
Ask yourself before you lift a camera: would I do this to my own grandmother? If the answer is no, put it away. Listening is a better gift than a photograph.
Bhajan halls and the festivals
Press reports describe women who sing devotional songs in halls in Vrindavan, sometimes in return for a modest meal or payment. If you are invited to such a hall, go with humility. Sit at the back, listen till the singing ends, and leave an offering in the box or with the organiser, not into anyone's hand.
News reports have also described festival celebrations organised for widows in recent years, including Holi at a Vrindavan temple, with the involvement of charities. We have not verified the details of any particular year, so ask the organisations. Do not go to such an event as a spectator; go only if welcomed.
Whatever you see, the women are not performing for you.
Giving: through whom
To help, give through a body that is open about its work and can be visited. Two names appear in published sources. Maitri, founded in 2005, runs an ashram in Vrindavan for widows with no home or family, with meals, health care and aged care, and accepts donations and visitors on its own terms. The Meera Sahabhagini Ashram, run by the Sulabh International NGO, is a separate institution, and a gift to one should not be assumed to reach the other.
Before you give, ask the organisation how funds are used, whether it issues receipts, and whether it welcomes visitors. Be wary of anyone in the street who collects for widows on a clipboard. We have not audited any organisation, and we are not recommending one over another. Do your own check.
Sample plan
A respectful visit might take half a day. Contact the organisation in advance to ask about its visitor policy. Arrive at the agreed time, dressed simply, with a small, useful gift if they invite it, such as fruit or a donation in the manner they prefer. Sit and listen. Join a bhajan if welcomed, and stay for the whole of it. Leave when you are asked.
If you meet women in the temples, a simple greeting and a smile are enough. Return to your day with care.
Related guides
See our guides to eating in Braj as a foreign visitor, dress codes, photography rules and the first 24 hours after landing. The Banke Bihari and Radha Gopinath pages describe the temples where you may meet the women at prayer. A lala:Cab host can suggest how to approach an organisation without intruding.
Questions, answered
How many widows live in Vrindavan?
One published source gives about 15,000. Treat it as a rough figure, not a census.
May I take photographs of the widows?
Only if you ask and they agree. Accept a refusal. Avoid photographing them while they pray, eat or sleep.
How can I help?
Through an open organisation such as Maitri or the Sulabh-run ashram. Ask where the money goes and whether you may visit. We do not audit organisations.
Timings, entry rules and fees change. Please confirm on the day with the temple or your driver.
- Number of widows, which is an estimate
- Visitor policy and donation methods of each organisation
- Whether each organisation issues receipts
- Reasons and origins differ in press reports
- Maitri India: elderly, destitute and abandoned widows
- New Internationalist: the widows of Vrindavan
- The National: the Indian widows of Vrindavan
- lala:Cab Braj research: German-language searches on Vrindavan widows (October 2026)
Walking this path soon?
If you would like a driver who knows the lanes and the timings, the lala:Cab app is there when you are ready. No advance, no pressure.